‘You Do It Because They’re Your Parents’ | NYT Opinion
Video Overview & Insights
Behind closed doors, millions of Americans are stepping into one of the hardest roles they’ll ever take on: caring for their aging parents.
Thank you for preparing us for what may be a likely possibility in the future.
Times Opinion interviewed dozens of family caregivers across the country to paint a portrait of the American elder care crisis. In the video above, these caregivers describe the heavy emotional toll and personal sacrifices required to keep their loved ones safe and comfortable.
The United States currently relies on unpaid caregivers to provide $870 billion worth of labor each year, often at an extreme cost to the caregivers’ own well-being, finances and futures.
I'm 42, no kids no wife. My life has haulted for the past 17 years. Being a caregiver at a young age as a male has been a hardship I can't explain in words. I use to blame God for the cards being dealt. My faith has dwindled. So I blame the universe just to vent now. I take alot of showers so the water can hide my tears. I see everyone's life around me progress with kids and careers and I'm haulted. I don't see myself living until 60. What my mom has is genetic and I cant live like that. Who will take care of me? Mr. Whiteshoes in a home. No but in the end it's my decision and I know I given my mom more years to her life. Im proud of that. I wish i could have more help from family. Maybe a girls day for her. Something I can't give her. Eventhough I have a sister and family, everything falls on me. But Thank you for showing I'm not alone. These testimonials of beautiful people, I stand with you. I know it's hard and sometimes we can't do it no more, but in our hearts, in our souls we are who we are. Don't give up, never give up. We stand together
“What if this goes on for another 10 years?” one caregiver said. “How long am I going to be able to maintain this?”
As the country’s population rapidly ages — with adults over 65 set to outnumber children by 2034 — more Americans will find themselves in need of care. Many families remain wholly unprepared to shoulder the weight of this demographic shift, even if they must.
One thing I learned: no one understands unless they've lived this. You can't possibly know. Lifting, feeding, dressing, laundry, wound care, cleaning out a portable potty chair, tracking meds, doctor visits, etc, etc, while also having to work. All of that while watching as someone you love disappears in front of your eyes from dementia. There was no help that didn't cost an astronomical amount. I lost income by needing to go to part-time.
I'm not complaining. I'm not sorry for a single minute of it, and I would do it all over for one more day with my mom. But to anyone out there, know that unless you're wealthy, you will travel the road alone. At least that's my experience.
More User Perspectives
We must legalize euthanasia and encourage Living Wills. When we are no longer able to think or reason, the decision has already been made. We have to do better w accepting our ends. No one gets out alive. And we need a way out w/o suffering.
@thunderousapplauseThis happened to me last year. I needed help. I'm finally getting over the hardship of taking care of her and beginning to properly grieve losing her. Love and appreciation to all those that have been through this or are going through it. It's so insanely hard.
@roliPoliCannoliIt's truly challenging :'(
@vhol93