7 Signs of a Narcissistic Father | Father/Son Relationship

At this point in my life, I just hope he dies first. I cannot with him anymore. My mother deserves to live a long life.

Re #3: 100%. I always thought that my father didn't want me to have kids because he wouldn't want to see me succeed where he failed.

My dad didnt want to teach me things, he was in competition with me and expressing how much more he had than me during each age when i was growing up, yes he helped paying some things but there was always a catch, he's an alcoholic and i never knew who i was going to get that day, there was no genuine love coming from him, he wanted me to over please his dad but nothing back towards me, he would smirk at me when i was hurt and told me to f' off, i dont recall hanging out with him growing up or having conversations only irritation if i didnt know anything.

“The man is the head of the house” is mal-adaptive? Isn’t it just what 99.7% of the world’s population believes outside of western liberal enclaves?

I found that any conversation or topic would ultimately end up being about my shortcomings. I could be talking about my cat, and all of a sudden, there's something wrong with me, somehow. It's incredibly exhausting.

I am a mother of two sons. I separated from their father last year and he made the boys chose him. I left the house with no money, anything. I said I would fight for the joint custody, but he really thought I would come back (as I usually did, because I would always leave with my boys and then feel bad for them for being away from their father and I thought it was unfair to them, since I have a wonderful and present father) when I hired a lawyer, she found out that we would lose our house within months, cars and everything and he was hiding his debts from me. When the lawyer called him (he is also a lawyer) the HELL was upon me. My boys yelled at me like they have never did in the past. Their father told them that I was trying to screw him up with the lawyer. I then hired another lawyer, who is the mother of my youngest son friends, so my ex husband wouldn't like to be prick to a person that knows everyone HE knows, and that was my salvation. Her boys talked to my son, explaining the procedures, and convincing him to talk to me again. We are now, the three of us, very well regarding the relations. My eldest son, who is 17 goes to therapy (i had to trick my ex husband to agree to that and making it look like it was his idea. My son was like an apathic shell at the time. He was 15. Now after 2, almost 3 years of therapy he knows exactly who his father is so he is the discarded son). My youngest son, who is 13, has more popular friends, likes to the country club that my ex adores. So he is now "mini me", and I have 2 days per week with them. And I am always trying to find ways to have them spending more time with me. I was the one who prioritized health and education over "showing of" for ppl. I booked private math teacher for my 13 yo boy who was hidding his grades from me. Well I am lucky to have my parents, that are in their 70's or I would be on the streets or trapped forever inside that hell. I know my boys are almost taken hostage, because they can not turn against this devil but I am organizing their room and everything with the help of my parents and I am taking baby steps because I was diagnosed with anxiety, situational depression and PTSD. The worst is in the past and I am thankful that time shows everyone who people are, even if they are Master manipulators

What's rough is when both parents are narcissistic or BPD. They blame each other and you spend decades balancing your brain as to what happened. There's probably a reason why I'm the only family member to move thousands of miles away. I've been trying to escape it all!

Mine didn’t give a shit. What video applies to me?

9:00 shit this is me

My son's father had a Narcissistic personality Disorder but the father also has 3 baby mamas and is on marriage #3 which is a woman who has NO children with him. She has a daughter from a separate relationship when she was 15. The father always pits all the children against each other, believes he is the prize and that everyone has to appease him. All the kids are triangulated against one another and all the babymamas are triangulated. His "new wife" doesn't care because they have an open relationship.

Toxic masculinity lol

The father's place as head of the household is the universal human norm across all cultures and the entire expanse of human history, including our own. The fact that this alone served as an example of narcissism is wrong and ideologically motivated. Not good, man. Clarifying that the father using his culturally normal position as head of household as a vehicle of abuse...that's an actual diagnostic sign. I think you know better.

I have started an sp500 portfolio since my son was 5 and hope he grows it forever and his children even more, down the generations. Am I narcissistic for having a grandiose plan for my descendants? I mean it's for them, I won't even be around by that time.

having a dad who continually pushes you yo go into the family business for decades and then still doesnt stop and starts talking about legacy issues

He wouldn't be interested enough to have an opinion on anything I ever done

From the son’s point of view, how do I fix the effects of this? Do you have a video on it?

Ay man at least you grow to enjoy the anxiety at least i do I don't know if that's healthy tho

What about when the son is gay? How might that change this dynamic viz the Oedipus angle?

This is beyond helpful! First video on this in particular!

My narc daddy never had time to teach me how to be a man, for he was too busy with his three mistresses.

This is my father.... He never wrong. Gaslighting, disrespectful, socially dominant, arrogant, grandioso, lies, takes credit for things he didn't do, hypocrite, control freak....

4:32
"The man is the head of the household." So, the biblical model for the family is now narcissistic?
Does that mean a father should encourage his son to be a milquetoast weakling, who is dominated by his wife? Pathetic!

The moment I finally accepted that I was, in essence, an "orphan," I was overwhelmed with grief. In an instant, the few dreams and life plans I had seemed to vanish completely. But then, for the first time in my life, I felt neither lost nor uncertain. Instead, my confidence surged, my mind became clear, and a sense of disillusionment set in—allowing me to finally begin healing. Remarkably, this entire transformation happened within just an hour.

This explains the relationship with my father that I bearly had..outside of the other types of abuse..my father was a truly messed up individual. The one thing he did right i guess is he had two sons that made sure that we became nothing like him as fathers. So people say. We make sure our children are taken care of before anything or one else. I'd die before anything or one hurts my children in anyway

I always liked my teachers. In fact I liked them so much I wish I can go back in time and marry a few of them. What’s the diagnosis for that? 😂 lol

Men should be the head of the household.
That's not maladaptive, that's evolutionary biology.

I have a narc father too.

Grandiose. Manipulative. Authoritarian. Dogmatic. Self Righteous. Doesn't hesitate to shame you and expose your flaws in front of others for the sake of cheap laughs to belittle you.

Most importantly - wants to bind you to be your slave and project their own failures onto you to demean you.

Narc fathers often don't allow their sons to get married to women - unless those women are of the narc fathers choose them. It's all about conformity.

Doesn't care for your future. It's all about their self and ego, and shallow social status.

The man ahead of the house is not narcissism. Its biblical.

Spot on right here, spot on. Especially about the fantasies that a narcissistic father has with his son

Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey

This is everything my dad tries to teach me don’t trust women carry in the legacy everything you said DOC and I’m about to be 30 on the 29th and I’m still rewriting my brain from that maladaptive behavior.

I feel like all boomer fathers did this. Although boomers were the least involved in the formative years of children’s lives basically the millennial generation. Also probably the first generation in history to not have the stay at home full time mother. Boomers don’t see their very privileged upbringing economic opportunities during their time which is proving to be an anomaly an American history. They were MIA probably never engaged properly when they were around yet expected their children to be a certain way. Most of them are quite self-centered money driven, and they want to know why their children are messed up. Parents were very uninvolved in my generation. I was left home alone at five years old. Most of my peers similar and my millennial peers have very common childhood and I don’t want to see trauma but common dysfunction that proves to be a pattern in the boomer mindset. Parents were allowed to get away with a lot of things many children I know were actively physically harmed and neglected, and no one took action because back then that just not what happened unless it was truly awful and even then the government bureaucracy does not work properly to take kids who needed away from the situation. Most of my peers admired their grandparents as they were more active in their lives have a negative view of their parents because when their parents were around, they were very toxic and abusive. A lot of my peers grew up in a house of divorce. Another thing that started with the boomer generation, massive divorces, unlike before. I’m not sure what the boomer trauma or wound is, but they seem to like to take it out on the generations that they are responsible for because they’re the ones who created them molded them didn’t mow them and now have expectations that are impossible, especially given that boomers destroyed, the system that created the American class which most millennials are still paying into their parents retirement funds still offer their student loans the first time that massive transfer of wealth from the other end goes to the older generation again anomaly. But the boomers do not see themselves entitled or spoiled they just keep nom nom nom on the economic cookies because they feel that they’re 9 to 5 with healthcare pension 401(k) vacation vacation house in Florida was all hard earned. Yet they have spent 300 years of American GDP on something they can show nothing for… ie war corporate welfare and mass export/outsourcing of U.S. jobs. The jobs that gave them the lifestyle they got comfortable with. Most of their children secretly hate them and can’t wait for them to die which is so sad 90% of my peers and the millennial generation have expressed this wish for the boomers just die yet they cling onto their grandparents and grieve them truly, but when boomer dies, the kids are almost happy. I don’t know what happened to the boomers if you could make a video like a generational psychological thing that would be great. Because even now as the American empire is crumbling running on fumes they seem to still feel entitled and that any policy that makes them even slightly suffer with the rest of us they feel is unjust and it really seems they are so disconnected with the reality of the situation where it as a country and I really would love to know what this and what continues to make them feel this way and why they hold so tightly to it dead ideology and believe in a system that is no longer there anymore? Could you make a video specifically on American boomers and also millennial problems because we have our own psychological problems and entitlement would be great to go through the generations and see what sort of psychological effects on a mass scale has affected them all.

fck i hate my dad 😂

Made it nearly 10 minutes in before I realized that you were not talking about NPD but just narcissistic traits. I'm sure nearly everyone has some, my dad definitely does but I love him for who he is and am thankful for the good times we have had. I don't blame him for many of the issues I have had in my life, I choose to take responsibility for my own actions. Love yourself and treat others how you wish to be treated.

It's almost like someone was watching my childhood with my father.
At the very least, I know I'm not crazy.

Always felt like my father was narcissistic but non of these things mentioned describe him. He wouldn’t want us to stand up for ourselves whenever we were being bullied but then would get mad for not defending ourselves, whenever something bad happened like a break
Up or an error at work or whatever he’d blame us failing to realize what he did wrong in his situations, always played the victim role and could never speak about they way I felt because he’d then say “well what about the time you made me feel like”… was always extremely materialistic.. could never ask for anything because I knew I’d get lectured. If I ever said thank you he’d ignore it. On one particular occasion I had purchased concert tickets for him and my step mom so they could have a date night, concert tickets backstage passes etc.. instead of saying thank you get mad because I didn’t buy my step sister any, that’s when we had our fall out and I started to resent him… now he gets upset because I don’t take anything from him or anyone at that and I call him out on his BS he’ll quickly say let’s not talk about that… he’s also a pathological liar… feel more at peace when I don’t speak to him.. says I’ll regret it when he passes away

No of this fits my narcissistic father’s relationship with my brother.

My father is a text book grandiose narc. I’m his second child and daughter. I suffered. My older brother really suffered and has huge issues. My dad is alienated from his parents and siblings and now his wife and children. But even though he is in his late 70s he has not changed and feels he is the victim. He hasn’t figured out the common denominator.

My Father has signs of both covert and overt. He was never happy with my achievements and he tend to badmouth me to other people to make himself look good or better. He never acknowledged and recognized every food thing I did for him and the family. He is so arrogant, don't want to accept constructive criticisms. He was always right and he always thought he is the right and the best person I. the world. This has triggered my major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder but despite being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I tried every step to I can to reach my dreams where he never was supportive. He keeps telling me and other people I can't make it. He used to invalidate every little thing about me. He is an irresponsiblealcoholic Father. He never sustained the family needs. I studied away from home and never listened to him. Now I am a registered nurse and a clinical instructor.

And they are particularly evil of their son turns out to be gay. So sad.

6:04 where's the lie? lol

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