The Mistake 90% of People Make in Dating

05:05 : "THE ONLY WORTHWHILE LOVERS ARE THOSE WHO DO NOT NEED PERSUADING."

Consent is important both ways.

We deserve genuine enthusiasm in love

superb advice

Trying is the biggest mistake

with this advice Ill be dying alone lmao. might as well not even try

You can't lose if you don't play

Really interesting perspective, this definitely makes you see things a bit differently

We love the ones who love us.
And vis-versa.
The question is if we are brave enough to show and receive this love. The current meme is to retreat and isolate, which means end of story.

Counterpoint: My mom wasn't originally keen about my dad at all. During their dating life, she was trying to see if he was capable of calmly telling her, "I know you want to go there, but we're going to go here.", because most people weren't. And he realized that if she was going to push him to be better when they were married, that would probably start when they weren't. So he worked hard to win her over, and she did the right thing and didn't fall for him immediately. She didn't ghost him or ignore him or be otherwise rude, but she also didn't jump in headlong. They fell for each other when they knew they were good for each other, and that took time.

Now, they've been married for 22 years, and as their oldest kid, I've never once seen them fight. They are in fact, very keen about each other. She really respects and submits to him, and he absolutely loves and cherishes her. He just needed to prove to her that he was the kind of man who could lead her, even if he wasn't exactly her type. That took time and hard work and plenty of "no"'s along the way. But I couldn't be prouder of my dad for being a man and pushing through, and I couldn't be happier that my mom realized he was a man capable of leading her strong personality and said yes. Not everyone is like that, but some people are.

AMEN to that finale

OMG, this is such a load of bullshit that wants you to hate people that don't trust you enough, that are depressed, that are afraid to love, and so on and on.

If people were rejecting loving other for so many reasons, then there would be no humanity because of no procreation.

This directly contradicts your more recent video "Why we need to take it slowly in love"

Well said

Exactly, every dating journey I had where enthusiasm was not present from the initial interaction always failed. If somebody doesn’t get enthusiastic about you from the first date, discard them.

Hard to find this mutuality

My fearful avoidant ex was just as enthusiastic right from the beginninh as I was. Until the relationship turned serious and we got engaged. That's where all the trouble started. The withdrawals and conflicts that could not be resolved and so on. Until she finally lef without any explanation...

Only one problem. Everyone has read the same books and, in my experience, the majority of available partner options truly believe they should be chased. Consequence is that options for 'all on board' from the start are almost non-existent. And then enthusiasm does not equate to compatibility.
These vids are great to watch but in so many ways, totally unrealistic.
Good luck everyone. Take chances and have fun. The real key is to not regret the fails.

hah, Ive had a problem with this really all my life. I think honestly its because Ive enjoyed the chase, even if it gets stressful. However I've started to realize over time that peace is more enjoyable, and Ive really only felt that with my friends.

Yeah our culture have normalized chasing someone who doesn't care about us for years until they finally love us back

If its not a definite Yes, it means No.

If they’re the right person, at the wrong time, that’s mean they’re Not Right For Us.

Trust your instincts, your body knows when it’s on high alert and alarms us, oftentimes we ignores it.

This is just the universe speaking to me at this stage 😂

In 15 years after a long trip to India 😂

I don't agree that an enthusiastic attraction has to exist right from the start, but I do agree that there has to be enthusiasm. The best relationship I ever had came on slow, and Ive grown to distrust intense, immediate attractions.

Haha great thumbnail!

This is a nice thought. But I wonder how realistic it is. I’d be interested in hearing from successful couples how many of them didn’t experience a sort of courting phase. It seems perfectly fine to take your time getting to know someone with a bit of healthy skepticism.

Listen closely to unprompted comments about the person you are interested in dating from close knowledgeable family members, co-workers and friends about the person you are interested in dating. They may tell you directly or let slip in conversations exposing red flags that are concerning behaviors only they know.

5:38 might be ideal for a psychoanalytic study 😂😂😂

Love is a Battlefield

Best Compliment I’ve ever had, “a lil strange but far from unpleasant “ ! 👍🏻😆

I had started this video months ago, but wasn't ready to hear it. I stumbled upon it today, watched it all the way through, and WOW, does it illuminate the situation I am in. I think I will listen to it a few more times to strengthen my resolve to move on.

Wow this video is a life-changer!

Good advice. Though it's unfortunately true that many of us lack anyone enthusiastic about us, hence why we absorb such romantic nonsense so heavily.

I think I'm proud of myself for losing interest in people who would string me along or sample dating others instead of me, though, despite my loneliness.

If someone I like that seems interested in me were to date another person, my desire for them would shrivel up faster than a worm in the sun.

I don't care if it's unrealistic or not. I want someone who wants to be with me more than anything. I want to be their whole world (metaphorically speaking). Not just a good option if things don't work out with their first choice.

how does it apply to dating apps?

If it's not 'Hell yeah' then it's'Hell no'!

Lol this comment section full of dudes😂😂