The Harsh Realities of Expat Burnout: The Entitlement Trap
Video Overview & Insights
Social Security doesn't stretch as far when people start treating you like an ATM. In this one I share two true stories from my Philippine retirement here in Dumaguete — one man who only ever saw me as a way to exchange his damaged $100 bills, and a "friend" who demanded 10,000 pesos delivered in the rain at 2 AM. This is the side of expat life nobody warns you about: the entitlement, the transactional friendships, and how to protect your peace (and your money) so you actually keep more money in your pocket and your sanity intact.If you're thinking about retiring abroad, this is the honest truth about who's really your friend — and who's just waiting for the next favor.—I'm Mike, 72, retired in Dumaguete, Philippines. I share the real, unfiltered experience of growing older abroad — the laughter, the loneliness, the finances, and the hard lessons. New videos regularly. Subscribe and join me on the journey.
Anyway you could do a video on how to find out if a Filipina girl is already married or in a relationship when she is getting serious with a foreigner? Any advice on seeing if she is legit?
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Thats partly why im not interested in meeting expats in pi
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I've run into the same situation several times unless they are close personal friends the answer is always the same. I will deposit the money for you, and I will pay you and take half of the deposited amount once its cleared as a fee. Of course no one has ever taken me up on the offer and that's the point,😂
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Sounds like you got rid of a few mooches…. Good for you!
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I wouldn't bother with leeches like this. I don't deal with many expats where I am. I find them rude and boring. 😅😅
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Hope your well Mike! In the Philippines i only lend money to Filipinos who i never want to see again. As long as they dont want a top up loan. 😂😂😂
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Screw that guy. He just did you a huge favor by blocking you. Sadly guys like him make it hard to help anyone. Its a shame
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You dodged a bullet there Mike.
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HOW TO GET YOUR MAIL BACK HOME CHECK OUT
They always Want period
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Unfortunately too many people are just out there to use you. Friends are not people who are out there asking for non stop help and are not those who are asking for money or financial favors. Friends don't NEED you to SPEND lots of money to make them happy and to entice them to hang out with you. A friend is someone who enjoys just doing the same activities as you, even if they don't cost much money to do. Even if it is to just play some card game like Rummy, Phase 10, Euchre, Canasta / Hand and Foot, Bridge. Even video games. Someone to have over for a BBQ and they actually bring some of the meat so it isn't so one sided financially.
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I have no friends in the usa.. and to my family , I'm an inconvenience
Check out my Facebook page Mikes Philippine Retirement
Another nice video, Mike -- scammers always make up a situation that is an 'emergency' and something needs to be done now...very urgent.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100079610481824
I limit which expats I associate with. There are some who I consider good friends, but I need to get to know them, and see their character, before I begin to trust them.
They do the same with me, as well. Their lives are more stable and secure, because of it.
One of our mutual friends, here in Pampanga, has really stepped up for me, the past 2 months, and I'm very grateful for his kindness and generosity, seeing that I had a specific need, and he volunteered his resources, without my asking.
Even though he has never asked for recompense, I will do whatever I can to repay his generous offering 👍
But most expats who I associate with would have never offered.
Keep those friends who are real friends, like the one who offered, close. The others keep at arms length.
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Recently my Flipina told me she has no money-and felt ashamed-I sent her $100 via remity it took her 4 days to pick it upI I remember when I gave my mom money she would go shopping and buy me dinner that day
0:00 — He Only Remembered One Thing About Me
0:40 — His Story
Deadbeats are easy to ignore
2:21 — 2 Years Later...
3:32 — The 10,000 Peso Friend
May I say you kinda look like Paul Stanley and the way he talks in interviews a shade of you even the voice 😮 he's my fave KISS member fyi
6:43 — He Blocked Me / The Relief
7:45 — Death by a Thousand Cuts
Great story! Friends like that you don’t need !!!
9:12 — The Boast vs. The Reality
10:41 — He Was Hitting Up Everybody
A real friend is one that will NEVER ask you to do something you are uncomfortable with.
12:19 — Trying to Be the Joneses
14:11 — Be Careful Who You Trust
JUST TELL PEOPLE LIKE HIM, NO !!!
More User Perspectives
He desperately needs money quickly at 2am in the Philippines without a valid reason. It sounds like he wanted to bar fine a hot babe. Thank God he is pissed off at you and he is gone. My dad had a framed saying in the front hall of our house as a child it said. “All of our visitors bring joy to us, some by coming, others by leaving.”
@richarddaly45Social Security is actually going to see a massive 20 - 30% decrease in everyone's check when the funding runs out in 2031 or sooner. Yes, you can go and research this. This is a funding issue, not a money issue, so for those of you that are living on Social Security and a Republican, you're cutting your own neck. Better hope Dems get in there and fix this mess. I've lived here for 7 years, in Manila. I never have money problems because I keep coins on me and plenty of cash. I don't loan money and as soon as a Filipino asks for anything, I block them out of my life. People that have problems in the Philippines are the same dumb guys that chase sex workers, drink, smoke and who can't plan for tomorrow. Why in the hell are you not asleep at 2am? Make that make sense. I save around $15,000+ a year, and have for the past 9 years. Do the math, and I still travel all over SEA twice a year. Just got back from Vietnam after 7+ weeks. I'm headed to Baguio in a few weeks and will be there for a month.
@all.day.day-dreamerIt's a sad day when men can't just tell people NO! I don't entertain nonsense. I don't loan money. If a bank won't give them a loan, then neither can I. These types of men get used and abused because they can't tell people NO! Women will always get over on men that can't be stern with them. People use people that allow themselves to be used.
@CapletonableForeigners you’re viewed as an ATM; that’s it. Come on now, you’re 60-70 and a 20 something year old isn’t into you. She is after your wallet. Dudes need to wake up to reality. It’s pretty sad all the lonely guys end up in PI hoping to be fixed. Now, they have two issues they’re 8500 milies per home, still lonely and internally broken.
@richusncdrHaving been stationed Subic Bay with US Navy in mid 1980s and traveled there 2007 - 2026 to visit veteran comrades, I told buddies this would be my last trip. I’m over the Philippines. The culture and mindset of Filipinos haven’t changed since 1980s. Prices have gone up that’s about it. Plus, I have no desire to ever get involved with a Filipina ie too much noise and drama plus they just don’t do it for me. I don’t have that Filipina vibe anymore.
@richusncdrNever loan money to friends and relatives. NEVER, EVER!!!- - If you have to- -GIVE IT AWAY.
@genev7855Seems like the grifter factor among Asian expats is high.
@hughcardsSeems like drama follows u . All these various stories of drama
@rayr9089FRIENDS…I HAVE ENOUGH.
@henryweaver-g9bSORRY THATS WHY I NEED ….JUST SAY NO.
@henryweaver-g9bFirst time watching your videos.
You seem a genuine good guy.
Good guys attract users. They may not use you right away but keep you in mind to use when they need.
I usually have a good sense about these types.
As you said. He had crocodile arms when the bills came. I would have already started to distance myself from him upon seeing that behaviour.
The guy being so insistent that you changed his $100 bills. Just the behaviour would have made start walking backwards on the relationship.
In short. You're a nice guy. Too nice and need to read and act upon what you see.
Maybe avoid some of those thousand cuts.
Good luck. Pip UK 🇬🇧
These people should be avoided.. it was good… you told him to come over… why should you go out in rainy weather and you are a senior… they should respect you…❤👍
@chimedolma6514Yes… very true and it hurts when people treat you like a ATM… I can understand your feeling… 🌹👍🙏
@chimedolma6514Mike, have seen your posts for a long time but never subscribed before. I did today after hearing this blog. Ive lived in the Phils 32 years now. Seen all this type of action over and over again. I stay away from ex-pats, have some very loyal Filipino friends and that's enough. Long-time true friends are back in Canada and communicate regularly. Those I can trust. Im 78 now, in good health and enjoy my quiet life up here in Bulacan. If you're ever up to the NCR, drop me a line. No agenda, but I'm glad to have a coffee with you. Your comments are spot on. Make sense. Keep 'em coming! Ingat & God bless!
@a.edwardmcmullin4074Remember the god/demon "mammon" and "filthy lucre" in the King James Bible lol? sigh, there seems to be some spiritual thing with greed or getting away with something, the stolen candy is sweeter thing. when someone suddenly (or planned?) realizes that well, hey, i don't actually HAVE to pay them back hmmm.......that 500$ bucks sure could be handy right now hmmmm...... i've finally learned after family burned me. been burned w others, indo, pinay, coworkers. had money, could afford, years a part each time, look at it like charity/tithe or something, karma. but when it happens w close fam lol ouch that's another dimension of betrayal that sinks deep and can fester. cheers. stay safe.
@curtneilson5502Who was he …. Sik Grandpa Ricky ?? 😅
@harleylobo6931I’ve been here for 15 months and haven’t dated a Filipina yet. Hell, I’d love to be a Filipinas atm machine.
@PassportDialecticYou don’t have to an expat to experience this phenomenon. You don’t have to leave the US. Some of us don’t have to leave our own families!
@billf4186Me thinketh the self confessed., Charlie Sheen protégé looking for Wifey.........Number 10@@!?🤪😜😛🫣
@RonBellinatoThe Jerk needs money? If he needs it so bad, he should come to you
@friarnewborg9213what a "deadbeat" your friend is. he should sort out his own problems
@friarnewborg9213Mike, you need new friends! 😂😂
@dfbgd846jncssI love when people need to borrow money but can't be bothered to come get it. You have to deliver it, as well.
@boethius1812Be wary of a person trying to borrow money from multiple people. I remember a fellow Marine who borrowed $20 from about a dozen other marines at camp Lejeune, NC back in 1982. Folks did not know he had been borrowing money from everyone until a few weeks later… after he had already been transferred to Okinawa, Japan 🙄
@alanaldpal950With friends like that you don't need any enemies. Some people just use us as useful idiots. Happened to me also.
@jimle22stay away from western men...
@MimiBago-m7h2qMike - When are you getting a new side piece ?
@bryonhogg485your lack or absence of planning should not constitute an emergency on my part.
@mango6907My husband is from Brooklyn. He uses the crocodile arm expression for as long as Ive known him. Lol
He’s Italian and since we live in Mexico, for 3 years, he says the expats here are not “stand up guys”
They just want, want, want, but then show no loyalty back.
We keep our relationships superficial, and its just fine by us.
We have one friend that he told me, if i die, and youre in a bind, you could call him and he’d be there right away.
When i got to be friends with his wife, she told me that her husband told her the same thing.
The urgency is a red flag!
@paulleckner8235Why don't you exchange them yourself? Open your own bank account. Problem solved.
@paulleckner8235