My perfect CHEESEBOARD!

As someone who lives in Oregon, god am I blessed to be able to put Rogue River Blue on my cheeseboards for 1/3rd of the year. No other blue compares. It is THEE blue cheese that blue haters will love. It's so good, you can eat it on its own. No bread, cracker, honey, jam, meat... Just pure delectable cheese. Completely agree with the rest of the cheeses, just think the pull of Roquefort gets demolished when compared to RRB. And for the rest of the year, RR Caveman Blue. Spicing things up? RR smokey blue. All just simply beat Roquefort. When you don't have access to Oregon blues, it's great. Give rogue river blues a try is you can!

So far my favorite is port salut

I feel you are missing medium or semi-hard as a category. The mimolette and comte (or manchego or cheddar) are both hard, to me. In the medium hard category, I think Morbier, with its ash and two sessions of milk with different tastes, is the one I'd add to your board. I'm not as familiar with the Tommes although I've eaten them. They might qualify as medium-hard or hard depending on which one and how old, I guess.

Not critical for a cheese board IMHO, but another category: the cream cheese category like Boursin, but the goat cheese sort of represents that feel.

I once had an incredible goat's camembert that you could have slotted in for the goat category.

Brie/Camember/Coulommiers and similar are missing here but I see triple cream as an extreme creamy version of those while the washed rind is the funky version of those. So you don't need them if you have those two categories on the board. If you have just ONE category out of washed rind, triple cream and brie/camembert, and the audience doesn't want to go too extreme, mild brie works similar to triple cream; and if your audience wants strong cheese, the strong melty unpasteurised camembert that's practically orange itself (deep yellow and melty) is very strong, not the exact same way as washed rind, but sort of in a similar direction.

I would have liked to hear more options for each category. In the triple cream, I like St Andre and D'affinois. In washed rind, Pont L'eveque and Epoisses.

Comte, it's gotta be 36 month aged, for me... not sure you mentioned the importance of that. Gruyere is an alternative for that one, and some have very strong taste. Ossau Iraty... i kind of think it's hard, but it fits in the semi-hard (medium) category I mentioned above, another good one.

For blue, Stilton and Gorgonzola I like even more than Roquefort. However, for affordability, the Danablu is actually pretty decent, along with St Agur and Fourme D'ambert. Basque Blue and Irish/Cashel Blue and Cambozola are all very good at the pricier or harder to find end of the market.

Wensleydale??

I would go Cornish Kern, Roquefort , Pie D'Angloys, Langres, Tor, John Bourne Cheshire

My favorite cheese for a cheese board is the Humboldt Fog, it’s a cheese made in Northern California that is almost like a mix between a Brie and a goat cheese, the center is very much like a fresh tangy goat cheese, the rind is like a Brie and so there’s a layer between the rind and the center that is goey and creamy and mushroom-y like a Brie! It has a layer of vegetable ash as well which cuts some of the sharpness of the goat cheese. If picking between a Brie or a goat cheese, I would get this to have best of both worlds

Thanks Bri…. I love a cheese that bites me back. But come on… a “butt hole”? Now you’re just making me blush 😮

I just discovered Challerhocker. It's gonna be in the middle category, maybe an alternative to the Comte on Brian's board. I find it to be superb, my new favorite for the time being.

Your cheese knife is almost as horrid as your vulgar humour.

But you’re not a cheese expert.

I'm convinced now that cheese is just coagulated mold.