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CNA Insider

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I Became Dad's Caregiver At 29: My Top Tips On Dealing With Dementia

Video Overview & Insights

At 29, Daniel Lim became his family’s sole breadwinner when his dad, Peter, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease while his mum was receiving treatment for breast cancer. Back in 2009, caregiving resources were scarce, and Daniel had to deal with financial woes, loneliness and caregiver’s burnout.

Daniel is a GREAT son. Not easy to take care of old.folks.

— @liquidh5226

14 years on, Daniel has created a support system that taps on his neighbours, friends and even the neighbourhood barber to help with caregiving responsibilities. He also co-founded Enable Asia, a support group for fellow caregivers.

In this video, Daniel shares the lessons he learnt in 15 years of caregiving and tips on how to make it work.

But who is going to look after Daniel when he hits his 60s?

— @bravo.sierra

00:00 Intro

01:13 Make lists to help with independent living

mad respect for you!

— @ginnyginty

02:13 Routines to maintain motor skills

03:41 Friends help to check in

What a great son!! ❤

— @mcl888-q5l

04:05 Neighbourhood search party activated

05:13 Dementia forgetfulness: Playing along

Hi, i'm a special needs with down syndrome and i'm 28 year old this year and my parent raise me when i was a baby in long time ago. And my parent have a dementia in age 60, And i have lots of respect from him of helping out with his parent with dementia. I can't evwn how do i deal with my parent dementia because of my parent keep nagging on each other

— @annalammusic7143

07:02 How dementia patient feels about being disrespected

08:54 Should you put them in diapers?

Very good son! Not easy to be caregiver. This video is 2yrs ago. What is their story today?

— @JayJay-gr3rp

11:27 Resources for caregivers

Peter Lim appears in the 2-part documentary, Sing To Remember, about 9 individuals living with dementia and their loved ones who learn to perform as a choir.

I hope Daniel will find someone who loves him as much as he loves his parents to grow old with

— @chopsticksforlegs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ADFQi9pwnI

Have feedback or an idea for a story? Email cnainsider@mediacorp.com.sg

That’s right our aging parents want to be independent as much as they can. My mom had severe osteoporosis but can move around. For my mom, I labeled out the microwave so she will remember what to push and not burn her or the food. I also labelled the food in the container s in the fridge. Our kitchen might not look nice due to all the labels but that’s insignificant if we think of how satisfied my mom was living with us. I also drew our alarm mobile remote on a piece of paper so she remembers what to press I case the alarm goes off and we’re not home or if she wants to go to the garden to get some sun. My family made all the adjustments and happily accepted them, I am fortunate that my own family is accepting and understanding and loved my mom equally if not more.

— @insearchforwords

ALSO WATCH:

I Was An SAF Commando. Alzheimer’s Won’t Stop The Fighter In Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw8Ul84WAFg

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Son, human, soul. Such empathy, loving care of your parents is rare. You are a gem. May God give you the mental, physical, spiritual strength to do right by your parents.

— @zainar07

My Grandpa Has Dementia: When Caregivers Need Help https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKfxfn_Ryvs

A Dementia Caregiver's Dilemma: A Love-Hate But Ultimately Love Story

❤❤❤

— @jiayijiayi7281

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUazoYZytU4

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— @mowmow3962

https://cna.asia/insideryoutubesub

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Oh, getting neighbours to drop in is such a great idea. Also you are blessed with such good neighbours. ❤

— @66toonie

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Keep up the good job Daniel. A true filial son. God's blessing be with you.

— @lauralimweeheang4914

Website: https://cna.asia/cnainsider

What a wonderful person, loving and compassionate doing his best, his parents are fortunate. The neighbours are so kind and willing to look out for the family.

My brother and I together with our helper are looking after our 86 yr old mother with Dementia, she cannot read anymore, use her phone or iPad, it frustrates her, she feels embarrassed , sometimes angry and refuses our help. Accepting an elderly with Dementia, learning to fit ourselves to my mother’s needs so she is comfortable and safe, trying to calmly take the challenges each day brings - all very tough.

— @aidaharon5395

More User Perspectives

@

Lots of respect for you Daniel. It’s never easy and takes a lot on one person but you have done very well. God bless you and family.

@mxwm4340
@

Currently I am also taking care of my mother who has a stroke and dementia

@lysu80
@

Currently I am also taking care of my mother who has a stroke and dementia

@lysu80
@

Wise and amazing person

@junyuhe7386
@

So adorable, the dog oso include in the family singing country road

@blossomtan1876
@

Thank you for this video 🥺 much needed tips

@sophiafloreto9421
@

Bless u Daniel

@paulinewong5906
@

Your a beautiful son

@teenacallison8006
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As a caregiver of my elderly mom, watching you take care of your mom and dad is heartwarming!! you are indeed a great son :) Take care of yourself as well and great you founded the foundation for support! Makes a big difference to have support as you're providing it!

@anisha.gosain
@

If only I had the priviledge of taking care of my dad like that.

@吴-s5h
@

Greatest blessings to be able to return parent’s kindness and love . Your parents are blessed to have you

@kimahmad332
@

Your are a very great person and son Daniel. I have the same issue so I so sympathise and empathise with you. People do not understand the problems of the caregiver and give very insensitive suggestions and comments. Wish I could connect with you. Best of luck dear boy

@ranjanajha3063
@

Daniel is really a good son..all the very best to him😊

@jychen7259
@

Excellent job Daniel. My father was diagnosed with dementia 3 months ago and its tough on me. Thank you for sharing and God bless.

@esabellefletcher9397
@

You are a wonderful son and your parents are precious thank you for this video ❤

@nickytipene6888
@

Thank you, Daniel, for sharing this. A lot, im sure, is edited out, but what stands out for me and i am learning is that "you made a choice conscientiously and thus live well with closure." That, as i age and learn to live well in the present, is something that resonates and is encouraging. Thank you for doing so. May you be graced with joy and wisdom for the experiences of suffering.

@ymchin55
@

You are an Amazing son,care giver and have helped me in caring for someone in my family.

@paulferrari5262
@

The love of God is in the center of it all in this family! Thank you, Holy Father ❤

@PTL77
@

My mom is a caregiver to 89-year-old lady who has dementia so I can totally relate Because I help my mom with a lot of the caregiving

@ArsenalKara
@

my mother was diagnosed with alzheimer's when she at her 70's.. Now she is 74 and living with me for the past few years. Good thing your dad can still read and socialize. My mother doesn't any of that at all. Lost in speech, blunt affection, can't do minial task even drinking water and going to the bathroom. Highly dependent with care. Taking care of this type of menacing disease is difficult. I can relate. Challenging at the same time frustrating. It exhaust all your energy and patience. Your tips and advice seems like I've done it all before I watched this video.

@adzalvarez7096
@

His parents are very very lucky to have daniel as a son.

@onghc5892
@

Full respect. What a wonderful son❤❤❤❤

@onghc5892
@

I was a divorcee and stayed with my elderly parents until their last journey, i was the caregiver to them too. Kudos to Dan. I wish your family all the best!

@samanthalee6266
@

Daniel is a good son and he is doing his best to care for his parents. Wow!, such filial son, where to find nowadays.😮 Hats off to Daniel, my huge respect for his good deeds and empathy ❤He is an inspector. God bless Daniel and his parents. Amen 🙏

@elizabethoileng435
@

Thank God for a filial son. Wonderful to see the care this young man gives his parents.

@mirabelng37
@

Havebeen taking care of my mum with dementia for 4 years. As he says its not a burden its a choice with many sacrifices. I was willing do it for my mum. She is worth it and deserves it. Its not only about you its also about doing something meaningful for a loved one. Imagine willing to help others but not willing to help your parents and instead putting them in a home.

@passionatesingle
@

He’s a true man

@theowl2044
@

Your father said it --- you're a good son, Daniel. I'm amazed. Say hello to your father. For an 85 year old, he's still looking goooood 👍🏽 I'm 59 and taking care of my 83 year old mother who was diagnosed with dementia 3 years ago.

@faudziahmohdnor8161
@

for 85 yrs old, his dad still looking good and dad can read without glasses. Son is doing amazing job, bless them❤

@nadyahutangalong1371
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He is such a gd and filial sin all parents want.

@spong2514
@

God bless you Daniel.

@racer6022
@

Salute to you Daniel :)

@joscelbiolena8970
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I personally think, the habbit of having bread, jam, margarine and sugar in breakfast is all source of neuro degenerative diseases. Sugar will destroy you. My mom parkinson and my dan dementia, they also have same habbit.

@aldrichsusanto
@

Good thing he didn't marry

@KG-jl1xf
@

People with dementia still experience feelings even though they may forget easily. Most people end up putting their elderly to nursing home due to circumstances. Kudos to daniel for spending time with your dad, to make him feel loved all the time. This kind of family bonding is priceless even though it can be tough.

@AoiAkaio8
@

Daniel.. its good video. You hv a courage n support your parents. Salute you . Very good man! God bless..

@paulhandidjaja1579