How To Heal From Betrayal Trauma
Video Overview & Insights
Betrayal cuts deep. Whether it’s a cheating partner, a broken promise, or deception from someone you trusted, the emotional wounds can feel impossible to heal. Your mind and body go into survival mode, making it even harder to process what happened. But healing is possible.
Did you watch the previous video? [Heading to Sleep, will reply to comments tomorrow :]
In this video, we’ll walk you through proven psychological steps to heal from betrayal trauma, rebuild trust, and regain your sense of self. From finding emotional safety to practicing forgiveness (when you are ready), we’ll help you navigate this difficult journey at your own pace.
🔹 What You’ll Learn:
Thank you..this brought some real relief.
Why betrayal feels so devastating on a psychological level
How to stop dwelling on the pain and focus on your healing
Sex trafficking 👎
Simple practices to calm your nervous system and regain emotional balance
How to rebuild trust without letting fear take over your life
Its been 2 years since ive moved to a new state far away from where i was. What could go wrong, did go wrong. Car problems, work problems, relationship problems both romantic and with friends, betrayal, drug addiction, and just losing everything i worked hard to achieve bit by bit. No matter how hard i tried, i watched helplessly as everything began to slip away. I lost control. Before i relocated i fell for this woman though we were never together. She was beautiful and charismatic. I fell for her despite my better judgment. She was going through it too. And while i think she meant well, she made promises she couldnt keep. She hyped me up just to inevitably let me down. But i dont blame her, i blame myself. For being naive enough to allow that to happen. Since ive relocated i havent loved the same. And i dont have friends the same. I fear opening up to those around me as i once did because time and time again i feel i put more emotional and physical effort into my relationships than others did because i lacked healthy boundaries. But now i feel a shell of who i was. I dont feel happiness the same. I dont feel sadness the same. I dont feel love the same. I feel it all got left behind. Last night i had a dream about that girl. The symbology of the dream was too spot on. At first when i saw her, i could feel again. I felt that naive sense of love and passion. We embraced and kissed for about a minute and smiled at each other. Then the next minute im getting like this 3rd person POV of and empty and derelict room in a building. And it was haunted. Unseen forces moved pieces of furniture around and as i watched, i wasnt scared, but i felt the feeling of loss. Of knowing that it was just a dream. Of knowing that she didnt care for me as much as i did her. As i approached the room and entered, things quieted down. The haunting presence left and objects stopped moving but it was so dirty and dusty.
Im just putting this out there because im tired of feeling numb all the time. And if my dream told me anything is i need to clean up this abandoned place and get it back in order. I need to move on from the ghosts of my past. I hope this can be my breakthrough because i want to be fulfilled again.
edit i wish nothing but the best for that woman. I know she was in a hurt place too. I never got the closure i needed and I probably never will. But i hope she is okay and she can learn to be happy as well.
A Hawaiian forgiveness practice that can help you finally let go
🎥 Want to know if your partner’s behavior is crossing the line? Watch 7 Signs Someone Might Be Micro-Cheating next ➡️ https://youtu.be/cu48zo6JiCY?si=Z9maaEVC-zyFM5zo
My best friend betrayed me, we have been friends for years but this year I've been replaced, he kept throwing me under the bus and ignoring me so he can prioritize this new friend, I shared my issues with it and he thought I was being dramatic and even gaslit me saying nothing is wrong but he kept on doing it, I pressed further about it and he just abandoned me. He tried to guilt trip me saying that I just have trauma. Is he wrong for this?
💬 Have you ever experienced betrayal? What helped you heal? Let’s talk in the comments below.
The team for this project:
It's been 1.7yr and trust me it do heal.. But still the thing is I don't think I can ever fully forgive them for what they did. Yes I did love them a lot and I can't never undo that so I don't want them to suffer but for my innocent heart that never deserve any of it I don't think I can ever forgive them.
Writer: Imoleayo Olorunnisola (Lightoflights)
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
I found out my ex of 5 years cheated on me again last month, after a couple past instances. We had a rocky relationship but I had the idea that we both knew what we were getting into, and were ready to weather the worst together, as long as we picked each other up and learned from our errors together slowly.
It turns out he had a difficulty being honest the entire time he was with me, which upon discovering, completely destroyed the picture I had of him. I was more than willing to accept the bad and the good, even though I’m only human and can only express hurt when my boundaries are trampled on.
Even in the end, as I pathetically teetered on the line between giving things another shot and leaving him for good, I’d found that he still had mountains of secrets and lies both white and big.
I realized the biggest lie I fell for was thinking that he loved me. The second was thinking it hurt him to see me hurt.
People who love you just don’t betray you like this more than once. Immaturity grows over time only when appropriately and devotedly handled, but even then nothing is a guarantee.
To the people hurting out there, you’re not alone, and I hope I may one day feel less alone as well.
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera - www.youtube.com/AmandaSillvera
Animator: Anilezah Lam
I poured everything into a woman that I discovered later was a grandiose narcissist. In the beginning (the love-bombing phase) she was so sweet, kind, attentive. I gave and gave and gave, and she took and took and took. When she felt that she had no more use for me, she discarded me. 💔
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Harvard University Press.
I forgot some portions of my childhood. Is it called coping trauma??
Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Springer Publishing Company.
Pennebaker, J. W., & Chung, C. K. (2011). Expressive Writing: Theory, Research, and Practice. In The Oxford Handbook of Health Psychology (pp. 417-437). Oxford University Press.
I hurt her, I apologized, I said I would make up for it and become a better man. But she never responded, and never told me. She had me clinging onto lost hope and I didn't know it. I feel foolish
More User Perspectives
Trying for 9months...but still in the loop😪
@SumaiaSumona-x5cthat shit is just bullshit because I been betrayed and backstabbed and hurt a thousand times in my life over the years and stuff okay so this video is straight bullshit
@LoganEzell-v5tMy wife purposely cheated on me and then blamed our relationship. In reality, she made that decision without giving me any choice. Instead of telling me the truth that she wanted to try something new she blamed me. But reality she wanted new partner thats all about! She has no gut to admit it the truth! She dishonest disgraceful and disgusting human being!
@youngjed9312So much pain in this comment section and Im sorry
@marcellusrobinson1465Rom 3:23: "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"
Rom 3:10-12: "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understands, there is none that seeks after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that does good, no, not one."
Rom 6:23: "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Rom 5:8: "But God commends his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Rom 10:9,13: "That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. … For whoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved."
Rom 5:1: "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:"
Rom 8:1-3: "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:"
Rom 8:38-39: "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them. Matthew 7,15-20
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5,16-26
I have no money for therapy I’m dirt poor.
@LindoPayasitoIt's a nice thought can you say distance yourself physically and emotionally when a person that caused the drama but that person that caused the trauma is the mother to my children so that's not even possible what do I do then
@DoudAwakeningI think the child version of me that was left died 😢 I feel numb
@justvibing1680My girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me with her action and I forgave her and got back with her and she cheated again.
@johnkahlout2221Cant forgive them and i dont want, i want them to suffer.
@Ilovequran105My best friend and ex fiance had been sleeping together. I just watched this video for the first time and I think I'm gonna be okay. Thank you
@DavidOlesh-n6jFound out I got cheated on last night. I had a gut feeling to check out her phone. She broke up with me 2 times in the last 2 months making me feel that I was not good enough to her. I thought she was an avoidant and I learned how to deal with an avoidant. My anxiousness stepped in last night and I went through her phone. She’s been cheating on me for the last 3 months. When I finally confronted her, she didn’t even apologize. There’s so much more to this, but it just happens to be her male coworker. I’ve met this man, and he knows we have been dating for 2 years. This is killing me.
@BilalKhan-jq4cfShe cheated after 14 years of marriage.. betrayal kills u n no one get punishment for that
@bioscopewallah3413I’m absolutely crushed from my experience with this person. He was never looking for a relationship. He ghosted me. I just wanted to be shown the kindness and love I give and I never get that. When i like someone im all over them that’s what I did with him and at first he was like that 2 but he ended up not liking me at all. I’m tired of being hurt im tired of crying my eyes out.
@Yeetodahaw97We were best of friends for 32 years, and we knew each other for 46 years. And she betrayed me.
@StevenRogers-uz9ddI did everything for her yet she still cheats
@aisefilmmaker68if anyone wants to share their betrayal stories, you can talk to me. i may also share my most recent one that i’m healing from. we aren’t alone ❤
@EmmaFriedlanderAll of this pain for a guy who I wasn’t interested in in the first place.
@joshuabodde.6935Thought my mom meant it she said I was beautiful sorry I was just trying to embrace me and the way I used to hate me and show love but I didn't realize how ugly I looked to people has been a long time I hope you enjoyed you laugh ladies and gents ((((((😂God sees everything))))))
@FirstNever-b3jlooked at my girls phone today and saw she was sexting somebody in the middle of the night while im sleeping right next to her. Im lucky i found out when I did.
@justinthematrixThank you ❤
@agentgallardo4838I found out my boyfriend of 5 years had been cheating on me for God knows how long. He’s built a life full of lies with me… he wasn’t happy with being a cheater, he denied it, and to top it off, accused me of things I would never do… I haven’t cried once, the anger won but it helps, I kinda of knew this was coming but not the way it did... It has been over three weeks last time I sent my last message and not planning to look back.
I still believe there are good people out there but we must heal first. Personally, I’m putting God first now, everything else would follow ❤
ho'opono'pono - im sorry, please forgive me, thank you, i love you
@soleprint333yaay! hope 🩵
@soleprint3333 years of relationship with a girl, i loved the most and trusted more than myself and we used to fight and argue but I never felt any sense or loss or anything because I knew we'd make up and this is the person I'm going to spend my life with. But one day I get blocked like usual when she's upset, 9 days later a friend of mine sends me her story. It's a guy pressing in her neck, my heart fell, later I found out she blew 3 guys. I tried talking to her, it was like she was possessed she kept saying horrible things telling me she'll do it again and send me a video. How can a person change this much this quick
@vRaygei did everything for her, and ended up being cheated on 3 times, and yet, she and her family made me look like the problem , i have filed for divorce, i feel inferior, my confidence and self esteem is gone, dont know how to cope up with all this
@AbhishekRai-r5ghey, ive never made comments before and i hope this reaches someone. its short to compared to other people, but my bf of 8 months cheated on me. when i found out the first time, i felt so betrayed but wanted to try again because i was so optimistic and attached. he promised me that he’d always love me and change for us but lied/cheated again a month later. went through his phone again to see grindr and snap on his hidden apps. i don’t know how to process this that well, any advice is welcome.
@use_r4746Betrayal is not always cheating, non consistency or saying they will come then don’t or when you call they don’t answer the phone for hours. Don’t call you at night or in the morning makes you feel like they are with someone else at night . There are alot of things that cause trauma and depression when you love and adore the person. It’s confusing when they say they love you but ignore you and tell you lies are aren’t loyal. When they leave you home alone but do things for others that they don’t do at home for you. They hang out and leave you home alone, all of these things cause trauma.
@MRSOFFICER2012My giving love and friendship must not have been important since they never apologized and then repeated the same behavior.
@Ava-oc1dgI forgive but how do I trust again. Isolating and lonely.
@Ava-oc1dg6 years man. I gave it 110% effort and got cheated on. I just want to feel that security again.
@danman1032the man who did this to me absolutely destroyed me, but once i finally sort out everything i need before i can completely cut off all mentions of him in my life, i can’t wait to become a new person. im going to be able to do so many things i did before the relationship that i felt like were impossible during it. he made so many normal and basic things feel horrible if i wasnt fully appealing to what he wanted from me. i hope i can learn to resent him less, i hate him so much and i think hes a selfish, abusive, jackass. but it hurts me to think that about him. im no longer trauma bonded but for some reason it affects me to hate him. badly. i want to be free, i cant wait to be free the second i get the opportunity to.
@bat_fulI was in a relationship with a girl, and she was my first love. I loved her more than anyone else, even more than myself. After almost two years together, she gradually started distancing herself from me. Eventually, she left me for another guy. I begged her many times to stay, but nothing changed.
I tried to move on, but the flashbacks of everything we shared keep haunting me. It feels like I'm living in hell. I even considered doing the worst thing possible, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
What hurts the most is that someone who claimed to love me for two years could forget me in just two weeks and say that she never loved me at all.
Narcissist Pastor who publicly humiliated me because I wouldn't give my agreement to a very bad attitude of control he had, it still hurts so bad when hurt by Christians who act so holy. I work on forgiveness, getting over resentment but still it hurts because of course my friends didn't want to abandon their church even though they knew he was and is wrong for his desire to control- but he is so charming while he manipulates and controls them
@rockfilmsintli loved u adam why did u replace me u said you'd never
@biichee-k8xNever in a million years would I believe I would be looking up and watching this kind of video. My wife of 4 years also been together for 11 years (since highschool) admitted to cheating on me about 3 weeks ago. I wouldn’t wish this type of pain and betrayal on my worst enemy….
@PetalBlade1I need serious help i got cheated on 2 yrs ago and it makes my 2yrs of life worse I skipped college permanently, never went out or outing and didn't talk to my only friend and get panic attacks whenever I hear or see any kind of betrayal
@MidnightMugenIf I was bitten by a snake, I'm catching it. My herp side came out a little bit
@ferociousdihA man like you won't change. You will betray everyone in coming 200 lives
@Serendipty9999Seperation with a 20 month old to find out 1 week later she has a new partner and my child has to sleep there with a stranger more often then my place.
@Ckimax