Comparing Yourself to Others, Solved
Video Overview & Insights
We all compare ourselves to other people—our friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet—and most of the time, it makes us feel like shit. But why do we keep doing it? In this episode of Solved, we dig into the uncomfortable truth behind social comparison, how it quietly ruins our self-worth, and why most of what we envy in others is a projection of our own insecurity.
I stumbled across this podcast after watching Chris Williamson interview Mark. I'm so glad I did! It's just brilliant 👏
We also get into the brutal paradox of success, the toxic loop of chasing status, and how the constant measurement of our lives against others is one of the dumbest things we do as a species. If you’ve ever felt not good enough, or like you’re falling behind, this one’s for you.
We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/socialcomparison
you guys are what I needed in my life to be a better version of me! Thanks!
Chapters:
00:00:00 Introduction
Dukkha
00:05:29 Evolutionary Roots
00:16:20 The Emotional Toolkit
The easiest for me ia to compare myself with dead people I admire 😅
00:20:18 Philosophy and Social Comparison
00:23:31 The Buddhist Path
Admiration is the beginning of greatness
Or Admiration is the seed to greatness
Or admiration is a great seed to plant when gardening motivation 🤔🧐🤨
00:24:58 Aristotle
00:34:34 Stoicism
You deserve to be in the first 20 !
00:36:24 Existentialism
00:40:06 Myths
“Comparison is the thief of joy”. (Theodore Roosevelt)…
00:48:37 The Psychology of Social Comparison
00:58:54 Downward Comparison
This is why I hate getting on linked in
01:22:19 Digital Technology and Social Comparison
01:44:20 The 80/20 of Managing Comparison
Awesome both of you❤
01:57:40 Hidden Costs
01:58:48 Takeaways
Notes for myself...
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I'm realising you guys should probably do a Solved episode on social media and what it's doing to us.
FOLLOW MARK
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Yes, perspective parents doesn’t mean you have to like them respect authority to an extent using their power inappropriately than I would question that.
Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/
Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson
What if you truly don’t care about status anxiety and focus on yourself …people are the problem.
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TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson
Love the series.
A bit of critique for this episode though: 80/20 is filled with personal anecdotes and a few "I don't know.."s. I would expect a bit more from "over researched podcast".
Don't be afraid of having shorter podcasts. Not each topic need hours to cover.
#comparison #selfimprovement #markmanson #solved
Drew, you are so cute in all the videos I cannot be bothered to compare ;D
More User Perspectives
One about venting
@Psicologia_y_antipsicologia58 min
@PodcastLonglastThe host has 2 major issues-swearing too much to convince the viewers he does not care, and his haircut...😂
@dianageorgieva952You would be biggest in the world if people could accept the truth
@stevenjoyce421Comment
@samuelk1726Probably the reason you’re not in the top ten is because, like a typical American you babble on like an inarticulate 12 year old who’s just learned to smoke 🙄
@paulinecoburn181I'm not sorry. If I want to take your Ferrari, I won't be happy. Other people have more than me. The end.
@sibelinal9750PERFECTIONISM - next topic please
@LakshayCreatingYour work is life saving. I don't care if it's not in the top 10.
Must say that some podcasts in this channel are far too long like 4 hours and shit like that.
This episode was really helpful. Thanks! I want to offer some feedback. In your "watching Mission Impossible" example, you framed it in terms of comparing yourself to Ethan Hunt as absurd. Totally. But it contradicts your comment about how "dumb" our brains are (too dumb to register that absurdity)... so I'm a little confused. Also, comparing ourselves to Tom Cruise or any of the other actors or filmmakers (real people) is less absurd. People who are especially attuned to symbolic significance will watch a movie and feel the significance of it: "Dozens of us here in this movie theater (and millions around the world) have decided that this movie is worth our time and money. My stories and efforts have never been so globally valued. I must be less valuable." Of course you can refute that will reality checks (fame is often the result of luck and chance, audiences are fickle) so it's not insurmountable. I'm just surprised that this kind of comparison was dismissed instead of explored. Perhaps watching MI didn't spur comparison in you, but it can in many people.
@kylejohnsonxoAwesome content!
@ggroch95I appreciate yall, top 10 or not I don't give a F.
@F208FrankVideo starts at 5:51.
@syedali5699Bro please keep the introduction short, its like 10 min intro, where you are just keep talking back and forth. People needs solution as quickly as possible but you are just keep going.
@syedali5699Guys, perspective! You’ve been doing this less than a year! People will find you. ❤
@LaelaEricksonI just wanna say that for me Solved is #1 podcast, big kudos to Mark and Drew, your work is tremendous 👌💪
@emirlanzhakshybaev3248Regardless of how many listeners you have you are the best podcasters I've ever listened to and I am constantly sharing your material with any and everyone from clients to friends
@andreabordelon4820This is boring, at the same time, completely not boring. Actually, I'm here for it. Thank you.
@ChristopherYetter-o2vSo, is Solved finished? Ended?
I was looking forward to December the 1st's edition...then, nada.
I'm surprised there isn't an episode explaining why it has ended. But I trust that there will be something new coming along shortly from Mark, Drew and the team.
Solved was amazing.
Gonna miss those 4 hr deep dives...but, I'm flexible.
Let's try new things!
Next episode plsss
@deexytaWhen will the next episode come out? Is the release schedule changing again?
@musicRYCHUI really loved this talk, thank you
@benjaminchukwu7298I think if female Olympic sprinters trained with male college sprinters who are not Olympic level, I can see how there could be an improvement in female sprint times. However, if your competition is too great, it could be very demoralizing and have adverse effects. On the flipside: Male Olympic Sprinters training just with Female Olympic Sprinters would have slower times in events against just men. 😉
@majorkadeHate following? Interesting 🤔 That could explain why people follow other people like Ash Trevino. Not to throw shade but she seems to have some serious issues. I believe she needs help, not a platform.
@missyg9778If I compare myself to people at Walmart, I instantly feel better. 😂
@mlrobinson228Thank you for all of what you are doing Mark and team!! THANK YOU!!!!
@MasteringStoriesYou can feel bad that you're only in the top #300 list and not the top #50. But in my book, you're the only one to come out with something as unique as 'the Solved' podcast. Yeah, your stuff is dense, but I really appreciate the honesty and the amount of effort that goes into your work.
@Siva_avis1definitely interesting
@大葱动漫Love this series! Thank you for it. Drew is right that the positive comparison is not easy to put into one line. Could we say something like - Let the people who have what you want inspire you to get what you need? A bit clunky, I freely admit. I'm a huge fan of using comparison as inspiration. I lift my eyes up to the people who make me want to rise.
@taniakindersleyThis is so foreign to me. When people expect a lot from me, I feel the worst! When people have confidence in me, I want to crawl into a hole.
@findandobserveSolved is great - this is impressive value
@FullMentalBracketI can’t believe you guys cut the Prescriptive section short. That was the most important stuff!! Mark cut in with his crazy theories and ruined Drew’s show.😢. Looking forward to the next one.
@alexanderkaganas1905Funny that I watched the whole episode and compared myself at the last few seconds hahaha. I have poor sleep and seeing that it's not just me, that someone who cohosts a great podcast has some of that problem too, it's reassuring and makes me feel not as bad of myself as before, but loved the insight on the topic! Strive for curiosity when comparing upward and for self care, not self conformity when comparing downward.
@lucas.faria.v