6 American Cultural Norms Considered RUDE In Germany 🇩🇪 | Germany vs USA

If Germans tell you they want to visit you, it usually means you’re expected to offer them a place to stay and pay for their meals. In my culture, it’s considered rude to invite yourself over. Also, they usually won’t offer to host you at their home if you travel back to Germany.

"shoes on or off" you should simply ask in Germany if unsure. In case of doubt, take them off.

Sometimes the host might tell you to keep your shoes on while clearly wearing slippers themselves. This means they don't want to inconvenience you as a guest, despite this clearly being a home where normally no shoes are worn.

Easy rule of thumb: unless it's a giant house party, or the host has their shoes on as well, take your shoes off, even if the host allows you to wear them. Unless, of course, the host insists and maybe even provides shoe slippers. Especially, if you can spot carpet or wooden floors from the entrance: shoes off.

There are even mixed versions. In my home it's shoes off. But the entire entrance and bathroom are is tiled. If we have guests for a garden party, we will tell them to leave their shoes in when they go to the rest room.

Long story short: when in doubt, do as the hosts do and/or say ...

You forgot number 7: Men who don't care about the rules and sit down to pee.

Im "richtigen" Norden von Deutschland ist es schon viel normaler, du zu sagen, als im Süden. Ich denke, es ist der Einfluss von den nordischen Ländern. In Schweden wurde die formale Höflichkeitsform in den 70ern abgeschafft (ausser vllt wenn man mit dem König redet 😂).
Ich kann mir vorstellen, dass es für Neue Deutsche richtig anstrengend ist, dir Situation einzuschätzen, weil es auch Unterschiede zwischen den Generationen gibt. Menschen, die öfter Englisch reden, verstehen das Problem und schmunzeln eher, andere sind ziemlich beleidigt wenn sie geduzt werden.

Ich ziehe meine Schuhe aus und die meisten meiner Gäste auch. Allerdings gibt es eine deutsche Bekannte, die sie immer anbehält, scheint ein Problem zu sein. Also lasse ich ihr ihre Strassenschuhe, um eine gute Gastgeberin zu sein. Würden das alle meine Gäste machen, müsste ich ständig saugen.

The formal and informal "you" also exists in other european languages, e.g. french and italian (I'm pretty sure other ones as well). Those two do not have "it" though, while german does with "das"

Every US phone number starts with 555, right?

You haven't learned anything living in Germany the few years have you. What's up with all the loud and over the top presentation on this channel you're a typical loud and over the top american

Germans demand silence from tourists traveling in groups on a train, yet when the group consists of Germans, they can be just as loud—if not louder—than the tourists they reprimand. They often respond with a keine Ahnung (no idea) when asked a question, but in reverse, if they are the ones who want to ask something, they suddenly become extremely polite

Timemanagement ? You talk to much and fast and too loud. Your End of your video is not funny, Just proving that I was right in the beginning.

Truth, well doesn't excist.

Why than you do not sagen hallo? ?? You are false, disrespectful and your smile is fake

Regarding the shoes on/off topic. I genereally ask if we should take shoe off, as it is mostly a household specific rule. In my home it is usually shoes off for everyone, BUT if it will be a lot of people at once or a lot of coming and going - like a party or a party in thegarden as well as inside, I would tell to leavethe shoes on. Knowing I will clean the floors again after eberYbody has left,

What I sometimes notice in america was that people dared to ask us rather soon on further family planning. I doubt a lot of people in Germany dare that. Happened twice to us... not sure if that is a big enough basis to say that is typical american... can someone confirm?

I generally just tell the guest to leave the shoes on when it's dirty to not dirty their socks

A lot of these examples just boil down to "this phrase means something different and could be replaced by a more direct statement". It actually annoys me if people don't say what they mean or mean what they say.

The how are you thing is really good to know

Video games is not a sport!

Shoes on or off is also a thing with generations. My parents in law always kept their shoes on and I let them so make them feel comfortable. Also if people ask if they have to take their shoes off I tell them they can keep them on if they prefer to. But generally I like it if shoes are left near the entrance .

Shoes in the house yes/no:

This has only developed in the last 20-30 years. Before that, it was more the "American way". I first experienced it with parents of small children and it is understandable when children crawl around on the floor and put everything in their mouths. Then it developed as a form of politeness towards all hosts, because they do not need to clean as much after I leave.

You do not expect guests to take off the shoes, if they only stay in the hallway for some minutes. You do not expect "official" visitors to take off their shoes. For example, if I have invited my insurance agent to discuss my contracts, he will come wearing a "tie and collar" and I do not expect him to take his shoes off. But I do expect him to use the doormat in front of the front door (often a metal grate for coarse dirt) and the doormat in front of the apartment door (usually a textile mat for grains of sand and fine dirt) to enter with the cleanest shoes possible.

When I throw a (larger) party, the guests' shoes stay on. Women in particular often arrive in their street shoes and only change into their formal pumps when they get to my front door - these pumps are then clean anyway.

Nobody expects craftsmen (who usually wear safety shoes) to take their shoes off. If the meter reader for the water consumption has announced their arrival, or the smoke detector service, I plan my housework so that I do the vacuum cleaning afterwards.

Friends often say "Leave your shoes on!", especially when you know that they have just driven from their home and only walked a few steps on "clean" sidewalks. On the other hand, even if it is not expected, you take your shoes off before you get to the apartment/front door if you know that they are very dirty. (Because of the weather or because you have just come from the forest or from football, ...)



Summary:

- Hygienically necessary when there are small children in the house.

- Courtesy and one wants to avoid additional cleaning work for the hosts in all other cases.
If you are unsure, just ask straight out! You will get an honest and friendly answer (because your question shows that you care), often with an explanation: "I just cleaned.", "My child is playing on the floor.", etc.

This was very interesting. As a German I never thought this way. Thank you very much.

if chess is, then yes.

concerning the SHOES...you usually (99,5%) take shoes off at sb. place or at home. if u get told to leave the shoes on, its most of the time a situation where u dont spend lots of time, or get in and out quick. why do u american guys leave them on? u walk through all kinds off stuff and walk it right into your carpet.
concerning the "lets grab a coffee sometime"....great perception. i WOULD take it literally! and i WOULD not like it, if i ask u to do something, u say s"sure" and dont mean it.

Wait what, who answers 'Wie gehts'' with genuine info? unless you're talking to your close friends or family. I image your boss' face when you actually go full detail to that question right before a meeting. The answer for the general public is something like 'Danke, gut und dir/Ihnen?'

Maybe whoever answered frankly considered you a good friend. Or just wanted to vent at someone and you where there.

Do you think germans are less generous with praise? I get the impression americans sometimes „exaggerate“ by german standards. Like, when a german may say „It was nice having her around, she is so interesting“, an american might say „It was so amazing having her over, she tells the most exciting stories“.

Die spinnen die Ammis xD

I dont know a single American family that leaves their shoes on insode a home

Funny thing: Shoes off is not even a household thing, but sometimes a "what time of the week/year it is thing" -> e.g. me and wifey clean the house on Saturday. If you visit us on Friday we tell you can have slippers or just leave the shoes on. If you visit us in the summer, we usually also don't mind unless it rained outside, because most of the time we just run around everywhere with flipflops. Like now in Autmn, we expect everyone to take their shoes off... :D

I do think video gaming is a sport at this point. And I tend towards taking my shoes off when entering someone's home, but when in doubt I ask. Personally I'd only tell people to leave their shoes on in my place if cleaning really has fallen off the desk and I just consider it to be uncomfortably dirty in some areas to be on socks. I do remember that when I was a kid in my parents' home we often did wear shoes inside. So maybe shoes indoors is something that is more popular with older generations and more rural areas? But most people I know my age take them off in their places.

Thing 2 has fucked with my head for so long. And then when I got the hang of it, I was even more confused by the occasional follow up of "so how are you doing?" Thank you for clearing this up. I really never figured out until now why after asking how I am and not really caring about the answer some people then asked again.

14:49 From my perception the "you can leave your shoes on" is mainly a polite offer because you'd rather scrub the floors all over again when the guests leave than cause an inconvenience for your guests by having them take their shoes off. I personally always respond with something like "oh thats not a problem" and still take them off because i want to be polite and dont make anything dirty, but it's also ok to leave them on. Of course this can vary between households but i think the safest way is to look if the hosts are wearing shoes and just do the same.

Thanks for the explanation. I would have needed this information like 30 years ago. Being a german teenager in the States, I very often thought Americans to be very superficial (asking but not caring and so on). After about nine months I finally began to understand - quite late. But my host parents were fantastic and very open-minded people. Still, this thing about forcing teenagers to let the door open, if the visitor is of the opposite sex … I hope that this has changed since then.

The "Let's get a coffee sometime" blew my mind! I never understood it (how this could NOT be a sugestion to actually do that)! But you explained it perfectly. Just a signal of "I enjoy your company". Thank you so much! It sometimes really bothered my german and autistic brain!

german here, there is no general rule to shoes on or off. I always ask, but in my experience it is more about if the house is freshly cleaned. Like when I didn´t do my cleaning I always tell people they can leave on their shoes because I didn´t clean. As far as I can say that was always the case with everywhere I go. Sometimes it´s obvious because you have like a little hallway where all the shoes are that tell you to take off your shoes without asking, most people give you houseslippers automatically when you enter the home. Reason behind it is logical, at least to me. You don´t want to bring the dirt from outside inside the house. You can do whatever you want in your home, but when you visit someone you´re bringing in dirt and they have to clean afterwards, so that is super rude

You name it, Donny - fake and superficial are conspicuously often the adjectives first associated when we Germans, including us who lived in the US for a while, refer to American customs. I personally must admit that this pseudo-harmony in daily communication as experienced in the Middle West could get on my nerves enormously.

What I do like in the USA is the usage of first names in combination with that wonderful English "you"; our "Sie" can lead to insecurity and takes little children years to learn. Basically it's a relic from feudalism, thus an embarrassing anachronism in a so-called democratic society - and grammatically: pluralis maiestatis + 3rd person! Too much of a bad thing and really absurd ! ! ! I would love my home country to go the same way as Sweden and Denmark😕

I will always take my shoes off since I have been to Korea, where wearing shoes after the usually even lower short bit of the entry hall is really considered rude. In Germany, it depends on how the family you're from handled things. In rural areas of farmer families, shoes will always be taken off, you could be coming in from the pig sty or so. Other families with carpets or not wanting to clean any time people have entered their home, will also ask you to take shoes off. Some want you to be comfortable, no matter where you're from and ask you to keep them on. A few I've experienced, are very sensitive to smelly feet and ask you to keep your shoes on. That may also be a good reason to give, if you prefer to keep your shoes on. In doubt ask. German ddirectness is usually okay with that. If ve vant you to keep on se friggin shooz, ve vill definitely tell you so! ;-)

Bah. I think it is VERY rude to say things like "we should get together soon" and not mean it!

And I think you got the shoes thing a bit wrong. The default is to take your shoes off at home and either wear slippers or socks. Because street shoes are just uncomfortable, and it's not good for your feet to wear them when you don't have to.
But if you want to go back into your place, say, because you forgot something, you'll leave on your shoes. Or if, say, you know you'll be leaving again after, say, five minutes, you'd also not take your shoes off. But wearing shoes all day when there's no need for it is just not cool!

The thing with "Du" and "Sie" seems to be a thing that is in the process of dying out slowly, as more and more younger people do not really care if you adress them with "Du" or "Sie", no matter if stranger or not. At least in rather casual situations like when you ask somebody at a train station for directions or sth. like that.

I've also come to think that it really makes me feel old when somebody adresses me with "Sie".

"Adressing people by the first name" at work, might be okay in the US, but generally not here in Germany. I am "Frau Bender". My first name is for family and friends o n l y. Being called by my first name by someone else is something I have to consent to and only I decide on. If I offer the "Du" to a person, it is a sign of friendship and an honour. And it underlies rules, like older to younger, superior to subordinate, and so on. There are also nice varieties: "Du" and last name, for instance amongst old colleagues, or "Sie" and first name for young adults known since childhood. On the other hand, no one at work called me by my first name, while I had to call them "Madam" or "Sir" like in the US. How humiliating. Like a 19th century servant! About shoes: How could anyone invite a guest and embarrass the person by asking to take the shoes off? Maybe his feet smell, maybe the socks are not okay, maybe he will get cold feet. This is extremely impolite, has never existed in the past and has only emerged lately because of Turkish migrants. One more thing, dear Americans: If you address strangers on the street to ask for directions and such, don't forget to say "Guten Tag, entschuldigen Sie bitte, könnten Sie mir bitte sagen......Danke, Ihnen einen schönen Tag" ("Excuse me, could you please tell me.....Thank you, have a nice day"). After showing this minimum of politeness, your German opposite will do the same. So much for "blunt".